First 3 weeks back to work were quite interesting and even surprising at times.
My first day back to work was the toughest. I had to break through the initial anxiety of getting to work, walking back into my old 8-to-5, and even more so wondering how everyone would react…how I would react.
As I drove closer and closer to work, I could feel my heart rate start to speed up. I thought I was going to be ok!…but the anticipation was getting to me. Why didn’t I at least bring my wig as backup? No…I made the decision. I have decided to wear my hair as it is, and that’s final!
Inside, I knew that it may have been a little too early to sport the extremely short and extremely thin do…but I figured most people know and that wig is uncomfortable. The sooner I become comfortable with my ‘new look’, the sooner everyone around me will. The glares will eventually dissipate. The office whisper will quiet down, and sooner or later it will just be the norm.
As the first few weeks came and went, I was glad of my decision. Each day I wore my hair proudly, I held my head higher…and I reminded myself ‘you are a survivor’. This helped as it wasn’t always easy to leave the house. I honestly miss my old hair, my long hair. It made me feel pretty and feminanie. This new hair is something to get used to. Each day I have my ups and downs, but surprisingly the ups have been consistent.
People have been amazing. Throughout my life I have been called “cute” or “pretty”, but never have I been called “sexy”. This hair has changed all that! Let me tell you…I have been called that probably 10 times by different people in the last 3 weeks. When it first started, I figured people were just being nice and I always thanked them…but as it continued I realized the compliments were genuine. How cool is that?! So flattering, so sweet, and each time lifted my spirits.
I have also been told by a number of people that “you wear that hair so well”, “you look so confident”, “you are beautiful”, “you are going to keep it short for now on, right?!” hahaha….all these comments make me smile. Truly, people have been simply wonderful. I have been so super blessed. Thank you.
Funny enough, I have had another experience that I wasn’t expecting…people just go right for my head and touch my hair! Haha, can you believe it?! T It is like when a mother is expecting, and someone touches their stomach – I would imagine! Talk about personal space, right?! Luckily I am not the type of person to get upset about it, but honestly it was shocking and I was not anticipating that. It actually makes me giggle thinking about it.
Going back to work I thought was going to be a lot tougher, but surprisingly I am getting right back to where I left off and physically I feel pretty good.
The first week was tough once I got home. I was able to get through my 8 hour day and get home. Each day, for the first week, I got home sat on the couch and said I would get up to exercise in an hour. And each day, I just laid there like a zombie!! Haha, I was so wasted! By the weekend, I was able to sleep in a little bit and both Saturday and Sunday I worked out, which felt GREAT! I was happy to get back at it. By the second week back to work I was back to yoga and exercising at home. I even got up one day BEFORE work and did some interval training on the treadmill. This is a rarity, cause I am not a morning person at all!! So… Yay, go me!
So made I made it back to work, back to yoga, sported the new do proudly, and been working to release this site! Much has been accomplished and I will just keep going!
Love and kisses,
Barbara Bee
Week 11 Post Chemo
Week 10 Post Chemo
4 Comments
Barbara: Bless you and your heart. I am humbled to know you and can’t wait to hear more of your progress! This is a wonderful endeavor, indeed, and I am touched just reading your story. I would tell you to “stay strong,” but chick, I know you already got that part down! You’re definitely in my thoughts. Much love to you.
Bee you are beautiful!!! I could not quit smiling looking at your beautiful face…ur glowing. Bee you have a nice head,lol!!! I am praying hard for you. Sharing your story is brave and inspiring. I love you darlin… Xxxxoooxxxxooooxxxx
Well done Barbara for staying so positive. My Dad is currently having treatment and it’s really difficult to stay strong for both him and my Mom! Hope you are feeling better x
Hello Jenny,
Thank you for your kind words! 🙂 I hope my site has given you some comfort.
Cancer does not only affect those that are diagnosed but also those supporting. I saw the anguish in so many of my friend’s and family’s eyes – as it was hard on them too. So, you should know that you are not alone in that fight. Staying strong does take effort and is hard work at times, so give yourself credit for being there for your father and mother in this time of need. Sometimes your presence is all that is needed to help your father. Knowing that you are close and you care, is medicine and will help. Keep the hope alive and remember to smile.
Take Care.